This is the fourth in a series of four consecutive ponderings covering The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend reading this book as the concepts can help you process how you relate, adapt and grow in all your communication. Let's face it — communication is EVERYTHING!
The Four Agreements are:
Don’t make assumptions
This piece will cover the fourth agreement which is: Don't Make Assumptions!
How often do we make assumptions about why someone didn't call or email us back, what they meant by something or what they were thinking? Too often! And I think that we do this mindlessly and to our own detriment as well as causing damage to the relationship with the person that we are breaking solid communication with by making the assumption.
“Speak openly and honestly”
“When you speak openly and honestly, you won't have to make assumptions. The day you stop making assumptions, you will communicate cleanly and clearly, and achieve impeccability with your word.”
“Discern the truth”
“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, then we react by sending emotional poison with our word. This creates a whole big drama for nothing.”
“Ask for what you want”
“Find the courage to ask for what you want. Others have the right to tell you yes or no, but you always have the right to ask. Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the right to say yes or no.”
Learning to say no when a Nosy Parker asks something that wasn't their business was a great day for me! Just because someone asks, you DO NOT have to tell them things that you don't want to share with them. Period. Come up with a statement that you are happy with like “I am sorry, I just don't feel comfortable talking about that with you.” And then use it.
“Let your life be transformed”
“When you stop making assumptions, your word becomes impeccable, and your life is completely transformed. Magic just happens in your life. What you need comes to you easily because spirit moves freely through you.”
So now the real magic does happen — put together all four of the agreements and let yourself really fly!
Imagine a day where:
You are impeccable with your word…
You don't take anything personally..
You don't make any assumptions..
and you do your best!!
YOU can do this! Do you see in that YOU have the power to do all those things? Banish drama, negative thoughts and create a beautiful relationship with yourself first. Then share that inner peace with the world. Be a better child, parent, friend, spouse or co-worker beginning with YOU — how you react, speak and process the events of each day.
Find your own joy and grace of spirit. And SOAR!
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Quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.