Pondering: Are You Talking to Me?

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This is the first in a series of four consecutive ponderings that will cover The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend reading this book as the concepts can help you process how you relate to all your communications. The Four Agreements are:

Don't take things personally

Always do your best

Be impeccable with your word

Don't make assumptions

Pondering: Are You Talking to Me?

I will touch upon each of these topics and then bring them all together for a final conceptual discussion. My goal is for you to learn as much about yourself as I did and give you some tools to bring more joy into your life and release negativity.

First: Don't take things personally! I know what you are thinking, easier said than done, right?

How often have people said something  to you and you thought to yourself “how could they say that to me?” or “was that comment directed at me?” We go through life in our own bubble of thoughts and actions making choices, decisions and plans based on our own realities. In a bad mood? You might snap or be short with someone that isn't even a part of that situation.

Their response: why is he or she angry with me?

The reality is: they are not angry with you — their response is a reflection of them.

“Everyone lives in their own dream” 

“All people live in their own dream, in their own mind. They are in a completely different world from the one we live in.”

 “See other people as they are”

“When you see other people as they are without taking in personally, you can never be hurt by what others say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect.”

We are all works in progress — be patient with other and ourselves as we share the world that we live in. Try not to pop other's bubbles but also remember, they are not trying to pop ours either but floating in their own reality. 

Do you take things personally? How can you change your thinking to better serve yourself?

If you liked this, you'll enjoy the rest of the series:

The Four Agreements are: 

Don’t take things personally

Always do your best

Be impeccable with your word

Don’t make assumptions

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Quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

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  1. Oh Boy, are these things valuable! Don’t Take Things Personally was the title of a column of mine. Too many of us, especially our kids, view the world as if everyone else is actually concerned about YOU when most of us are concerned about ourselves. I’ve learned this so clearly from my marriage. When my wife is in an odd mood, it rarely has to do with me. Of course, sometimes it does, but don’t make that assumption!

    WHICH is another of your great points – don’t make assumptions! They make an “Ass out of U and Me” when you assume or as an early mentor used to say, “Assumption is the Mother of all f-ups”! 

    1. Appreciate the thoughts Bruce! I think this will prove to be an interesting series of posts. These are not “me” things but things that we all struggle with and don’t even realize that we are doing it. Remembering that we are all a work in progress is a daily reminder.

  2. Peggy, thanks for reminding me about this excellent book. It’s time I pull it off the bookshelf again and revisit it. It’s too easy to forget these simple yet important lessons.

    1. I agree Kimberly! So worth re-reading! I have some wonderful 4 Agreement cards that I just love with quotes and thoughts from the book. Literally saved my sanity at my last job. I rotated the cards on my bulletin board.
      Thanks for commenting and sharing!

  3. Peg, I don’t take things too personally. The main benefits of it are: truly
    understanding thyself and lucidity. Being focused and based while acknowledging
    that only you can state whether or not you’re on right path or whether or not
    you’re thriving is a advantage in and of itself. A person who has practiced
    this kind of thing recognizes how fine it experiences.

    Thought-provoking article. Thank you!


  4. Everyone should read this book.  It is easy to read and is such a simply way to live a happy life.  Thanks so much for reminding me about it!

    1. I agree Lina! It is one of the books on my shelf that I read again from time to time,

      Thank you!

  5. Hi Peggy,

    What a creative way of putting this post together. I love your phrase on “bubble of thoughts”,  and yes turn it off.  Not always easy but I find with meditation,
    it has worked for me.  Great quote collections for your piece.
    PєAcҼ ‿↗⁀☆҉↘‿↗☆҉↘‿↗j❍╙╢↗⁀☆҉ ♥ Ann

  6. Hi Tony~
    This is so true “we all have our own pressures in life which can make us react in different ways” being aware of others is the first step. It is a tough concept and you need to look outside of yourself to perfect it.
    Thanks so  much!

  7. Nice article, you are on my list of thoughtful bloggers and your blog is under “must read blogs” thanks AnnTrann to recommending me!

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