Create Your Personal Path
Lisa Petrilli wrote a wonderful post called Jealousy in Leadership: 3 Important Questions to Ask. In this insightful post, she addresses the problem of leaders feeling jealous and what this means to the jealous person. This can be true of any person feeling jealousy. Have you found yourself focusing on others successes? My friend, Jessica, likes to say “run your own race — quit worrying about what everyone else is doing.” What personal path are you currently on?
From Lisa “I wholeheartedly believe there is enough success in the Universe to go around for everyone. After all, we each have different dreams. There is nothing stopping us from making every one of them come true.” I 100% agree with this and feel that each person can have a dream, create the steps to complete the goals, and forge their own successful path. Tearing down other people is a destructive path that only gets in the way of the person creating the destruction. Focusing on negatively on others, instead of yourself, takes you off the path of your own dreams.
Don't take things personally
In The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz, one of the four pillars of his theory is don't take things personally. A seemingly simplistic statement but this is a much deeper concept than it appears. It can be achieved by really looking at the heart of what this means. The message that people project is a view of them inside. “Nothing that other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.” You know in your heart who you are, believe it!
Don Miquel Ruiz also says that “someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you do not take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don't take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.” If someone is not treating you with love and respect, walk away. You know what is in your heart, your mind, and your intentions.
No one else can define your worth
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Dita Von Teese
Not taking things personally goes both ways: for compliments and for insults. In a Google+ post, Amy Gabriel talks about this: “When you base your self worth on opinions other than your own, you find that you're always chasing that peach carrot. Outside accolades, plusses on posts, compliments from admirers, exterior affirmation… all of these can be lovely but don't amount to anything unless you believe it about yourself first.
The other half of that trap is if you eat up all the fawning… you also eat the crap. The negative hateful bullshit that people can spew that has nothing to do with you… must be spoonfed and lapped up like milk to a starving kitten. Don't put too much stock in the opinions of others, unless they've earned it of course. Random compliments or insults from unreliable sources are just that… unreliable.”
Live With Choices Not Regrets
“Each of us always has a choice to make in every situation. Learning to make the right choice for the right reasons is skill that will be invaluable in your life. Start with the simple steps laid out in The Four Agreements. These steps teach you to value your word, value your relationships, and value yourself.”
What path are you on right now? Are you focusing on your own goals and dreams or looking bitterly at others? I urge you to create your own personal path and embrace who you truly are. If you haven't read The Four Agreements, I highly recommend it. It can help you gain inner peace and truly give you the freedom to pursue your dreams.
“Don't let yourself waste your chance to be happy. Move forward in your life and learn to let go so that you can look back down the road and know that you have no regrets.” Don Miquel Ruiz
I have this amazing set of cards that are a supplement to the book. They have beautiful illustrations and insightful quotes. Need inspiration on the go? There's an app for that: Four Agreements iPhone app.
“You can choose to follow your heart always. Then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness. You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all.” Don Miquel Ruiz
Sounds good to me, how about you?
Resources:
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miquel Ruiz
How to Discover Your True Path in Life by Lisa Petrilli
Pondering: Are You Talking to Me?
Run Your Own Race by Jessica Northey
Letting Go With Grace — Learn How To Let Go of Jealousy, Anger, and Control
Four Agreements graphic found here. Featured image courtesy of code_martial via Creative Commons.
Love this post, Peggy! It’s a shame when people feel the need to tear others down — as if that will pump themselves up in some way. If only they would direct that energy towards doing something awesome, they’d be much better off. Rather than learning from situations and fixing the things that may have led to their negative reaction, they often go on the offense and exacerbate the problem by lashing out instead. Unfortunately, the problems being exacerbated are usually their own, and those of their own creation.
@PaulBiedermann I agree. Focusing on your own path and actions is always the way to go. Comparing yourself to others, being jealous or similar actions make you unhappy when you could instead focus on positive goals that you have created.
Have you read the Four Agreements? I really love the message and the things learn from it pop up often.
The comparing your self with another does bring about problems- I read somewhere grate people talk about dreams , normal people talk about things, and jealous people talk about others.
@GrandmaOnDeck That is very true and I have heard that quote before too!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
loved the part about living with choices. The four agreements that you shared, is a great lesson. Overall a brilliant post Peggy!!