Pondering: Penny for your Thoughts

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No, You Can’t Pick My Brain. It Costs Too Much. by Adrianne Graham written for Forbes.

In this piece, Adrianne talks about how people are always asking her for free advice and WHY she isn’t going to give it anymore.

“Your knowledge has value. You’ve invested time and money into learning your craft and it’s not fair for people to expect you to give it away for free. Even friends need to understand there are boundaries.

For example I will no longer advise my friends or family for free. (Wow, I just made some people mad….they’ll get over it!). I have businesses to run, employees to pay, a mortgage to pay, an office rent to pay, college tuition, etc, etc, etc.”

Working in social media and writing as much as I do, I am giving away a lot of free advice and sharing things that I have learned. But where should I draw the line with a request to do something for a friend or client? This is the pondering spot today.

A good place to start is seeing the value in my skills and creating the boundaries prior to the request for freebies. Personally, I am going to update my profiles where it is possible to list that I consult on social media and online communications. Being ready with a response will help make it easier to redirect the conversation.

“Don’t back down. I know it’s hard to say “no” sometimes. But you can’t back down. People will know how far they can bend or push you. Stand firm, set your boundaries and guard your treasures (your brain and the know how in it). The minute you compromise you devalue yourself and your expertise.”

I am going to create a fee schedule and stick with it, this will make my partner very happy. One of the best points that Adrianne makes in her article is that if people will walk because you won’t give them a freebie, they were not going to be your client. There is a very fine line between a friend and someone who wants to use you for something. Sometimes it is very hard to see where it is but if they are a friend, they need to respect your skills, talents, and time.

Social media lends itself to many different kinds of relationships and while I am a fantastic friend, my professional services are not part of the friendship. I would like to think that the people who come to me for advice are coming because they see the value that I provide, not because they think it would be free.

And in the words of Guy Kawasaki, to me, “the truth shall set your fee.” Re-read that statement, it’s worthy of repetition.

How do you handle when people ask you to do things for free that are part of what you get paid to do? Share your stories in the comments, love to hear them!

Featured image courtesy of Salathe via Creative Commons.
Article by Peg Fitzpatrick
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muz4now

1 Like

Thanks for this insightful invitation, @Peg Fitzpatrick

I'm a recording and performing musician. A friend asked me to create a backing track for him to use at his daughter's wedding. He's unemployed (though his wife works outside the home) and had a great story about how much this would mean to his daughter if he sang her favorite song. At first, I thought about offering to play live. Once I realized I already had a (paying) gig that day, I suggested that I could do it for a friend rate. We agreed on a price and the resulting song did not leave a single dry eye in the house (or so I've been told).

I also do some part-time consulting on social media and Wordpress. For example, I've grown several Twitter accounts into 10's of thousands of quality followers via organic means.

Sometimes free is worth what you pay for it. In order to overcome this, I sometimes ask for a "friend price", often barter (I like getting massages, for example), and occasionally even do something as a gift or favor. But even those "favors" are sometimes in return for a gift I've received.

In short, each situation is unique for me. I am continuing to learn to trust myself to create what I need in each circumstance and, for now, that's working for me.

Peg Fitzpatrick moderator

@muz4now Really great comments and SO important to know what works for you remembering that each circumstance is unique. I agree that "sometimes free is worth what you pay for it" conversely, it is worth the investment to get quality work that you can be proud of and lasts. Bartering for massages = smart!

14 comments

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ShakirahDawud

Best line: "while I am a fantastic friend, my professional services are not part of the friendship."

Perfect way to think about what can get to be a sticky issue. Thanks, Peg.

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@ShakirahDawud Thanks! It is a sticky issue and I feel thinking things through before things come up helps to formulate a smart response. Instead of being taken off guard and responding, you can offer some suggestions and as @brandcottage noted in her comments, "the key is to know your boundaries and when "advice" crosses the line to "work."

brandcottage

I give free advice often and enjoy helping others. The key is to know your boundaries and when "advice" crosses the line to actual "work". I think it's very important to share with others. It's one of the best ways to build a relationship beyond just looking for a quick cash payout.

I have gotten so much advice over the years but never asked anyone to work for free. If someone asks me to do something I normally get paid to do, I try and give them a taste of an approach, without giving them the whole plan. Surprisingly, they almost always decide to work with us an pay for the plan.

@brandcottage I think that is what I have been doing as well Patricia, I have been giving a lot of advice as well. And I love talking to people and making connections. You are exactly correct about the boundaries for "advice" and "work." People mean more to me than money but you do need to be careful also of giving away the farm so to speak. I think you have found a great balance which is what I strive to do as well. Most of the things I write are about how to do things or explaining things because I remember what it was like being new in social media and trying to figure everything out. I think I have definitely paid it forward as far as sharing what I have learned and will continue to do so. I need to get balance like you have. Thanks for the great thoughts!

BruceSallan

I have always been so good about setting MY boundaries but have failed completely in this area, Peg. I started doing Social Media for fun, for free. Now, it's such a habit that my monetization efforts are playing a huge catch-up game with my actual success. Ironic, but thankfully not fatal!

@BruceSallan @brucesallan So we should talk about that, right? It is a tricky, tough transition, I would love to chat off line about it.

@Peg Fitzpatrick Talk? Like in on the phone? Like IRL? Yipes, and break the GREAT bond we have without having done that? I'm SCARED! Really? I'll DM my number to you and vice-versa!

@BruceSallan You are afraid to talk to me? Ok, got your number and will DM mine too.

Deanna

I've noticed lately that everyone wants social media "interns" full time work, no pay, and usually you need the skill set prior to becoming an intern. I'm glad you brought this up!

Everyone likes free stuff! Who wouldn't want a free social media "intern"?

Akos Fintor

Hey Peg, I do give free advice and opinion, sometimes I do it for like 10 minutes on Skype. Is it corny if I say that whatever you give comes back 10 fold? enjoyed the post! tweeted! Akos

Peg Fitzpatrick

Hi Akos, No, that is probably a fantastic idea. Has this proven to be a good strategy for you?My problem is I never have ten minute calls or Skype calls. :D